I took this picture of our table after my grandparent's 45th wedding anniversary party.

A book that makes me happy.

Right now I'm writing an essay on the role of women in Canada throughout the 20th Century (it's for school... no, I don't just randomly write essays.) I went and got a couple books from the library to research it... and I seriously have fallen in love with one of them. It's called In Times Like These by Nellie McClung (she was a feminist who lived during the late 1800s-early 20th century.) She's really sarcastic and funny in the book, but she also very intelligently lays out a pretty decent argument for equality between the sexes, not only that, but also for all kinds of justice that is needed throughout the world. It's an old book, but it makes me want to get up and do something good. Here's a blurb or two...

"We have been travelling below our priviledges. There is enough for everyone, if we would get at it. There is food and raiment, a chance to live, and love and labor - for everyone; these things are included in our ticket, only some of us have not known it, and some others have reached out and taken more than their share, and try to excuse their 'hoggishness' by declaring that God did not intend all to travel on the same terms, but you and I know God better than that."

"Years ago people broke every law of sanitation and when plagues came they were resigned and piously looked heavenward, and blamed God for the whole thing. 'Thy will be done,' they said, and now we know it was not God's will at all. It is never God's will that any should perish! People were resigned when they should have been cleaning up! 'Thy will be done!' should ever be the prayer of our hearts, but it does not let us out of any resposibility. It is not a weak acceptance of misfortune, or sickness, or injustice or wrong, for these things are not God's will."

Job 23:8-10

"But if I go to the east, he is not there;
If I go to the west, I do not find him.
When he is at work in the north, I do not see him.
When he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him.

But he knows the way that I take; and when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold."

crappy-ness

A couple nights ago at youth group I felt pretty bad about myself. Have you ever had a time where you knew that you should take care of things and clear things up with God, but you didn't? Yeah, that's me. Part of it is that it feels like I have a whole lot of stuff clouding up my brain right now. I'm verrry distracted- by wanting a boyfriend and the self pity and loneliness that comes along with that, by worrying about what other people think, by being really critical of everything and everybody... And the thing that I'm really struggling with right now is the way that others Christians talk. It feels like lacks so much emotion sometimes, and it fails to describe God in the way that He should be described. God is just so deep... and the way we speak of Him almost changes being a Christian and believing in Him into a formulaic list of rules and sayings. It can become very boring. Man... I don't know how else to describe it. Forgive me if it doesn't make sense.
So, anyway. I was at youth group sitting by myself being pretty quiet (my friends were off somewhere else) and I really felt like I needed somebody to talk to. So, lo and behold, over comes one of the nicest people I have ever met- she's one of the Kaleo students at our church. I don't know what compelled her to come over and talk to me, (come to think of it, it was probably the scowl I had on my face...yep. Reeeal pretty) but I'm so glad she did. I kind of poured my heart out to her... and she wrote me an email later on that was so amazing because she told me about a time where she went through the very same insecurities I'm going through right now. So now I feel better. And it doesn't hurt as much. But I guess God is not a snap-His-fingers-and-everything's-perfect kind of guy. That reminds me of a pin that some people used to wear... "Please be patient. God isn't finished with me yet."

justice.

Last weekend after our tournament on the mainland, we went to Ikea! It was my first time there, and I have to say that now I'm hooked. The only thing that makes me question my newly found love of it is the fact that on the packages of the things I bought, most of them said 'Made in Lithuania' or '...Viet Nam.' I don't want to support the use of sweatshops or cheap labourers on third-world or even second-world countries. I don't want to make those people suffer for my desire to make my room look nice. It's not fair, and it just doesn't make sense that we, North America, as a continent, basically has the rest of the world working to satify us.
I'm not saying that Ikea does use these methods to make their products, because I don't know. But, the fact is that MANY companies do. And many of us don't realize when we buy certain things... we could be supporting practices that are very, very wrong. Example: the laptop on which I am typing this was made in China. What a hypocrite I am.
It makes me think about when Jesus clears the temple and gets really mad at the people selling things there. He fought for what was the right thing to do. Our God is a God of justice, and it is what he seeks. But what a mess we make of it sometimes.

I love my life!

So, this year I just randomly joined the basketball team and I'm having a blast. Other than my weird perfectionism that seems to kick in HARD when I mess up, B-BALL (haha, I always hated that abbreviation-thingy) is pretty fun. We're going to the mainland tomorrow for a tournament and we're spending the night in the gym at the school (I was hoping that it was something more like a hotel, but oh well.) This is the first year I've played... and let me tell you, it is humbling. It's also the first year I've played on a team that is so team-y (I apologize for my lack of adjectives)... there's just so much looove! I'm so glad they're not mean to me for being not so great.... haha.

I don't really have time to talk about anything else. I have to pack for our big ROAD TRIIIIP! (Or should I say 'FERRY TRIIIP'?)

No school tomorrow. That means I can procrastinate and not do my homework. Even though I'll probably end up doing it anyway.

Oh well.

ellie