I feel like I'm in transition.

I got back from a youth conference in Anaheim a few days ago, and I've been mulling over all that God stirred in my heart while we were there. It was an emotional trip, I must say.

Sadly, Pastor Carol passed away while we were away after her battle with brain cancer. At first I was just in shock... it still hasn't totally sunk in. Our church is pretty large, so in the short time I've been going there, I didn't get the chance to spend a ton of one-on-one time with her... but even so, I felt like I knew her really well. She wore her heart and all of who she was on her sleeve. She was one of the warmest and most caring people I have ever known. She was truly beautiful, and radiant with a kind of love that can only come from God. We are all going to miss her very much...

I was thinking about her last night as I listened to Kendall Payne's song "The Moon"...

"The moon's worn thin
Succumbed to the pressure
Her silver dress
Hangs in the sky like a rag

Her coat, her cloak
Her cover of darkness
It fails to hide
The tears that she's cried
Oh she cries...

But she still shines
Though the night fall around her
And by her light
I find my way
When I fear the path laid before me
I look to the light of her face...

And thank her for being so brave..."

It strikes me how brave Carol truly was in facing her illness. How she gracefully accepted God's will and purpose for her life inspires me to do the same, even though it's terrifying and exciting and unpredictable and humbling and all of the things that are truly good in this life. And, through the sadness that everyone in our church is feeling right now, there is no denying that God is good. In the words of C.S. Lewis... no, he's not safe: but he is good.